The first full-fledged family reunion
Was held at the seashore
With 9 pounds of sturgeon
7 pounds of corned beef
1 nephew who got the highest mark on an intelligence test
ever recorded in Hillside, New Jersey
4 aunts in pain taking pills
1 cousin in analysis taking notes
1 sister-in-law who makes a cherry cheesecake a person
would be happy to pay to eat
5 uncles to whom what happened in the stock market
shouldn't happen to their worst enemy
1 niece who is running away from home the minute the
orthodontist removes her braces
1 cousin you wouldn't believe it to look at him only likes
fellows
1 nephew involved with a person of a different racial
persuasion which his parents are taking very well
1 brother-in-law with a house so big you could get lost and
carpeting so thick you could suffocate and a mortgage so
high you could go bankrupt
1 uncle whose wife is a saint to put up with him
1 cousin who has made such a name for himself he was
almost Barbra Streisand's obstetrician
1 cousin who has made such a name for himself he was
almost Jacob Javits' CPA
1 niece it wouldn't surprise anyone if next year she's playing
at Carnegie Hall
1 nephew it wouldn't surprise anyone if next year he's
sentenced to Leavenworth
2 aunts who go to the same butcher as Philip Roth's mother
And me wanting approval from all of them
